wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
