You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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