We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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