Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
