But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
