it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
