it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
