Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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