You can't motorboat a personality
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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