careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
