You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
ttyl tear gas
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
