just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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