you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
