his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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