Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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