i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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