need another drink. this is the easiest way
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
