At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
