ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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