maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
