i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
