You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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