Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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