Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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