The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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