that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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