I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Welp...herpes.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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