my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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