i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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