No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
