my sisters under your porch take her home
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
