I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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