New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize