I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize