just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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