ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
