I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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