Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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