What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Are we still banned from the library?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize