He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
did i walk over a car last night?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
