PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
