I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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