Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
