I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
last night I used snow as a chaser
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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