To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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