Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
