i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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