he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
