Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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