Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
