doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
