her vagine was all disorganized.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
His hands were made for my vagina.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
