And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So vagazzling was a success
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
