Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
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