So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
