i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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