There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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