its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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